Dear Wife,
I’m writing this letter to let you know that I’m leaving for good. I’ve tried to be a good husband throughout our seven years of marriage, but I have nothing to show for it.
These past two weeks have been tough. Your boss informed me that you quit your job today, and honestly, that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a fresh haircut, prepared your favorite meal, and was even wearing a new pair of silk boxers.
You scarfed down dinner in two minutes and went straight to bed after watching your soap operas. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you’re not interested in intimacy, or anything that connects us as a couple.
Either you’re cheating, or you’ve simply fallen out of love. Either way, it’s over, and I’m done.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don’t bother looking for me. Your sister and I are moving to West Virginia together! Enjoy your life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Your letter made my day—thank you! Yes, we’ve been married for seven years, but calling yourself a “good man” is quite the stretch.
